Akua's Corner

Writing has always been my preferred form of deep communication.  I can write things I can't say, or things that folks wouldn't listen to.  In these days of ever-decreasing attention spans, writing is a great way to find space to complete a thought.

Writing This and That slightly helped to fill the void of my Mama, my Father, my mentor, and my best friend as I struggled to process all of the new information about my old friend.  It was just enough to save my sanity. 

I wrote because punishment is not my strength.  I am a disciplinarian.  For me the two are similar, but fundamentally different.  Discipline is used to teach folks lessons.  Punishment is what folks get when they are disobedient.  I am a teacher.  My preference is to help folks understand a subject, the impact of their actions - relating to the subject, and to help give them the tools to be better.  I understand punishment and know that it has its place, but for me it is warranted after there is honest and clear communication.  People have to know and understand the rules to be in willful violation.  For me, the issues surrounding R. Kelly and sexual violation has had too much shallow polarized chatter.  I want to try to stand in the middle and make sense of it all, so we all can learn, heal, and grow.

I started by writing random thoughts on scraps of paper, napkins, back sides of envelopes...  Every time I had a reaction to information I would hear or see, or when I wanted to talk to someone but there was only me and God to hold the truths and feelings that may have been misunderstood in such a heated environment, I wrote.  Eventually, I wrote in various journals, and then finally I created a file on my computer.  On occasion I would log on and just empty out something I'd been repeating in my head all day - inspirational tidbits of info that helped me to try to understand what I was learning as the public was learning it.  Usually, music soothes and anchors me, but not when it is attached to the yuk of things.  I found myself listening to and believing things folks were saying, even about music I'd witnessed be created.  My mind was scrambled much like it was when I was ushering my mother, then my father into eternity, only I had come to understand death; this was different because it not only drained the life out of a single person, but it sucked er'body who tried to reach for the person into a dark ugly abyss.  The attacks were as brutal as the accusations.  This is why it was important to find a safe space where I could booger/snot cry if need be, and where no one was there to catch me watching the reports of all the drama.

I am a scholar.  Research is a part of everything I do.  I have an incessant need to triangulate, and must feel like I've heard representation from varied sides.  The goal for me is honesty and truth.  Though I am keenly aware of the fact that my need to hear and dig and know would probably be nonexistent if my family member were a part of the situation in any way.  Therefore, I do not expect everyone to take this journey.  Some won't be able to, though they need to find a way to excavate their traumas, too.  There are different strokes for different folks, yet something for everyone to work on and work through.   

Because of the sensitivity of the topic, no one can't just say whatever they feel.  Well, surely you can, and that is actually the purpose of this letter writing campaign.  However, if the desire is to publish the writing, then one has to think of it as giving a speech in a public space.  On paper, or in print, tone can be a challenge.  How to communicate a thought clearly, respectfully, and in an interesting way can be quite the task, especially when the topic makes the writer emotional.  A fair amount of my letter has cursing in it.  I found it to be necessary.  It would be disingenuous for me to request it be excused.  Instead I am asking folks to respect it as a formidable form of communication.

ENHANCED:

Peace

Emotional Intelligence

Critical Thought

Camaraderie Against Abuse 

Desire for Healing

A Safe Space

Trauma Relief

Seeded Shift in Culture

Love

Honest Reflection

Accountability

Focus on Wellness

Clear and Balanced Understanding

Empowerment

Identity Awareness

Self-Discovery

Appreciation of Inner Wisdom

Courage: social, emotional, intellectual, moral, spiritual, and physical

Read.

Then read sum'n else.

Seek varied honest perspectives.

Read some more.

Listen to podcasts.

Pay attention to people.

Talk to God and people you don't know.

Breathe.

Process.

Watch relevant movies.

Think about your life.

Look for holes that make you fearful.

Have compassion for yourself & others.

Don't create new facts.

Watch biographies.

Refrain from filling in. 

Take care to protect yourself.

Don't hide.

Get uncomfortable.

Trust the process.

Do no harm.

Join the challenge.

Free yourself.

Never intentionally lie.

Get a journal and take the journey.

*A notebook from the dollar store will suffice, but a BFF Journal with prompts would probably help you through this letter writing project*

Consider This and That as a conceptual framework...

Write the good and the bad of a thing - all in one body - of work. ;-)

The topic can be whatever conflicts you:

work, a relationship, past experiences, addictions, habits you want to break, things you want to achieve or fix...

Write like the page is the non-judgmental best buddy that you have always needed.

Write, write, write... no filter, no worries. 

Read it. Re-read it. 

Choose: Burn it; Share it; Save it. 

Repeat as needed.